Starbursts, Sirens and Siriously Shining


Fear doesn’t stop you. YOU stop you.


I’ve wanted to write this post since my father-in-law’s sudden death, but the wanting was tinged with fear.

Fear that you would be put off, not get my point or worse, ignore me all together.

I’ve been headed in this direction for some time, but I’ve allowed fear to slow my steps.

Then death jolted me out of my comfort zone.

“You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.” – Joan Baez

So it’s time to call bullshit…

You live like there’s someday.

You live like you have all the time in the world to pursue your dreams and follow your passions.

Plenty of time to shine… later.

I’ve listened to this for a long time as a coach. I’ve listened with love and compassion, used my training to the best of my ability, and at the end of the day, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. The horse (you) has to want to drink. Badly, urgently, like your life depends on it.

Because it does.

There is no some day. There is only now.

NOW. And now. And now. Only now.

– That book you want to write.

– The weight you want to lose.

– The relationship you’ve been longing for.

– The dream of being an entrepreneur.

– Fill in the blank…

You have that burning desire.

I know you do because I’ve felt the heat of your passion along with the icy chill of your fear.

And if all that you get from this post is the following, I’ll be happy:

You have to stop waiting for someday.

You have to stop because it’s clearly not working.

You’re fearful, anxious, worried about the worst case scenarios going on in your head.

Good. That’s how I know you’re human; with a well-developed protective mechanism. This part of you, your lizard brain, shows up at just the right moment with just the right amount of fear.

But fear doesn’t stop you.

You can take action in spite of your lizard brain and its incessant chatter.

YOU stop you.

You’ve survived worse than an irritating conversation with a lizard in your head, haven’t you? 

You’re still here, surviving.

BUT surviving is not all there is.

Surviving is not the same as living fully and thriving.

Surviving is not the same as shining with every cell of your being.

Not even close.

You can do it though. 

You can feel the fear AND be, do and have what you’re here for.

I know this to be true, and it’s why I’m writing this.

I want you to shine in a way that will rock your world. 

Fear doesn’t stop you.

Fear doesn’t stop me either, and yes, I am scared too. Often.

I’m scared because I have so much passion burning inside me that I might combust.

I’m scared if I let it out, you’ll run away from the intensity.

We’re all afraid to let our light shine. It’s not just you. It’s all of us.

“It’s hard to be a bright light in a dim world.” – Gary Starta

And yet?

Some of us take that first step and then the next, and suddenly we find ourselves shining in ways never imagined.

That’s how my father-in-law lived his life. Whatever he did, he gave it his all. There was no halfway commitment for him.

And he shone so bright.

Sometimes it was intimidating, but I don’t believe he meant it to be.

He really was, like Marianne Williamson’s inspiring quote, letting himself be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous and he absolutely refused to shrink so that others would feel comfortable.

He simply woke up each day pursuing his passions: cooking, travelling, sailing, wine-making. And he let his light shine in each and every thing he gave his attention to.

How he lived life was inspiring, and I know he’d agree with me here…

There is NO fucking someday.

There’s just today.

Just now.

Just YOU.

“…there was nothing under my skin but light. If you cut me I could shine.” – Billy Collins

You are meant to shine.

That’s why you’re here, but you have to trust that first cut.

And that’s why I’M here.

To help you do what it takes to shine like Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky.

That may mean loving you more than is comfortable or socially acceptable and kicking your ass when required.

I’m here to be a siren, leading you not to your death, but rather to the glorious starburst that is you living the fullest expression of you possible.

Wikipedia says a starburst must first accumulate a large supply of gas – let’s call that your passion. Then it has to have a collision with another galaxy – that’s my passion!

You and I are a collision, ready and waiting to happen.

If that statement scares you, I’m glad. I want you to be so scared you’ll take one of two possible actions:

1.  You’ll run for cover, avoiding the collision at all costs; happy with the safety of your life as it is. And I’ll watch you run off wishing you much love.


2.  You’ll run towards me as fast as you can, eager for the collision! You’re ready to do the work, to crack open, letting your light shine unabashedly, brilliant and glowing the way you were intended.

Two options.

It’s time to choose.