Hello Desire Map, I Love You


At this time of year I start to look forward , and while I’m no fan of resolutions, I do love creating the future. This year, I’m feeling anticipation more than usual.

This feeling has a lot to do with the my journey the past couple of years, which has been an opportunity to embrace more of what I love and want in life.

And what’s leading me there with a new-found intensity is my deep dive into Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map.

Reading the Desire Map is a soulful endeavour that wreaks havoc (in a good way) on my psyche, and makes room for new thoughts and feelings to emerge.

red rose of desire, the Desire Map process


: early 13th century Latin, desiderare – “long for, wish for,” original sense – “await what the stars will bring”

Await what the stars will bring…

So I willingly immersed myself in the desire mapping process which led to feeling good in all areas of my life.

Now I’m not new to the Desire Map having gone through the process last year, but this time I gave myself fully to the experience.

My motivation came from a longing to create this year in a new way, but also to deepen my own relationship to desire.

I’ve had plenty of experience wanting something and not getting it, and wondered how desire could transform that sense of striving. I also committed to leading two Desire Map groups, and public declaration is a powerful motivator.

I settled in to explore my desires, and what showed up were these core desired feelings:


While doing the work my guy came home, and after a short while, he asked what I was doing. I casually responded, “Getting clear how I want to feel this year.”

Silence, and then…“Can I do it too?”

We sat side by side, me asking the questions out loud, both of us writing in notebooks. No idle chat, just silence and the sound of pen on paper, accompanied by the warm light of the fire.

What happened next surprised me, and was a direct hit of delight.

When I asked him to share one of his feelings ‘joyfully connected’ came out of his mouth, along with a simple statement that it’s how he wants to feel in relationships, and specifically with me in our marriage.

Hello Desire Map, I love you.

This process works.

It guides you past the same old stuff that comes up every January and takes you deep into what’s important.

For me it was,

Feeling joyfully connected vs. “let’s set up another date night”

Feeling cherished and delighted vs. driven by my goals

When you allow your feelings to guide you,

“…you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be.”  – Danielle LaPorte