I used to be all about making things happen.
It worked for a long time, until it stopped and I felt the inner exhaustion that followed. I did it so long it became my default way of getting through the challenges of life.
I tried to change but the alternative felt too soft, like I was letting myself off the hook.
“True compassion has nothing to do with being nice and everything to do with doing the right thing for ourselves and others.” – Dr. Marcia Sirota
Doing the right thing for others was usually easier than doing the right thing for myself, and of course, it felt so very virtuous.
Cue Ruthless Compassion
Ruthless is kind of a brutal honesty that doesn’t back down. It’s also the starting point when we get real.
Can you be ruthless about:
- what’s working
- what’s not working
- what you want
- what you desire
In the Desire Map workshops I’ve led recently what shows up is a discomfort with acknowledging these truths. And even though we may not be happy with the current reality, it’s familiar and safe.
It takes guts to tell the truth.
THIS is when it calls for being ruthless with ourselves; relentless for our soul’s deepest desires.
You probably have this in abundance – for others. How about for yourself?
Can you have compassion when you:
- you slip up
- forget what you promised
- turn away from your inner knowing
- ignore your heart’s longing
It takes heart to show self-compassion.
We are so fucking hard on ourselves and it makes me ache with a sadness that has no words. I know this sadness much too well.
“When a human being has thoroughly experienced his or her own basic rawness, there is no room to manipulate the situation. We just go forward and present the truth quite fearlessly. We can be what we are, in a very straightforward and basic way.” – Atalwin Pilon
What if you could be relentless with heart?
Undaunting with tenderness?
Unrelenting with kindness?
Finding your way with ruthless compassion is an ongoing process.
For me it is a practice of honouring my word to myself and allowing my core desired feelings to guide me.
It’s not easy, and some days I just want to get shit done, get it over with, and do ALL THE THINGS myself.
The cost of this way of being is no longer acceptable.
So I practice. Shifting from ruthless to compassionate and back to centre.
In the practice we find our way.