A Mantra for Love

How good can you feel

mantra:

from Sanskrit – “sacred message or text, charm, spell, counsel,” literally “instrument of thought”

A couple of weeks ago I started saying “Zero judgement, all love.”

It never occurred to me that I’d created a mantra. It was simply a tool to help me focus.

For some time, it had been my intention to focus on self-love, first inspired by my core desired feeling cherished, and then by the Self-Love Evolution, the current round of the 100 Day Promise online program I’m teaching.

Zero judgement, all love – a lovely thought, isn’t it?

The truth is, it’s more than a thought – it’s a practice worth developing, because there are times when life repeatedly reminds us that it’s not always easy to choose it.

For it is a choice, and a way of living.

Zero judgement doesn’t mean I never feel judgement, but the mantra helped me notice and let go of my judgement with more ease.

The mantra has helped me slow down, step back, and notice how judgement feels in my body. Tight, and closed off, with a side of injustice brewing beneath the surface.

Tight and closed off are about as opposite from my core desired feelings as I can get.

Make your way back to love.

It’s not easy when I feel reactive, but step by step, I make my way back to feeling good, and feeling good eventually leads back to love. From love, I can choose consciously.

The choice is clear: react in the moment, or step back and respond.

Zero judgement, all love.

The key is to stop the judgement when we catch ourselves judging others, otherwise we create an endless loop of righteousness.

The mantra helps to shift your energy back to a vibration that feels good.

It’s a sacred tool to focus your attention, and whether you use a universal sound like om, a Sanskrit mantra, or a phrase you’ve made up, what’s most important is that it has meaning for you.

And isn’t that true for anything?

 

The Practice of Ruthless Compassion

I used to be all about making things happen.

It worked for a long time, until it stopped and I felt the inner exhaustion that followed. I did it so long it became my default way of getting through the challenges of life.

I tried to change but the alternative felt too soft, like I was letting myself off the hook.

“True compassion has nothing to do with being nice and everything to do with doing the right thing for ourselves and others.” – Dr. Marcia Sirota

Doing the right thing for others was usually easier than doing the right thing for myself, and of course, it felt so very virtuous.

Ruthless Compassion #truthbomb, rose quartz

Cue Ruthless Compassion

RUTHLESS: unrelenting, adamant, relentless

Ruthless is kind of a brutal honesty that doesn’t back down. It’s also the starting point when we get real.

Can you be ruthless about:

  • what’s working
  • what’s not working
  • what you want
  • what you desire

In the Desire Map workshops I’ve led recently what shows up is a discomfort with acknowledging these truths. And even though we may not be happy with the current reality, it’s familiar and safe.

It takes guts to tell the truth.

THIS is when it calls for being ruthless with ourselves; relentless for our soul’s deepest desires.

COMPASSION: commiseration, mercy, tenderness, heart

You probably have this in abundance – for others. How about for yourself?

Can you have compassion when you:

  • you slip up
  • forget what you promised
  • turn away from your inner knowing
  • ignore your heart’s longing

It takes heart to show self-compassion.

We are so fucking hard on ourselves and it makes me ache with a sadness that has no words. I know this sadness much too well.

“When a human being has thoroughly experienced his or her own basic rawness, there is no room to manipulate the situation. We just go forward and present the truth quite fearlessly. We can be what we are, in a very straightforward and basic way.” – Atalwin Pilon

What if you could be relentless with heart?

Undaunting with tenderness?

Unrelenting with kindness?

Finding your way with ruthless compassion is an ongoing process.

For me it is a practice of honouring my word to myself and allowing my core desired feelings to guide me.

It’s not easy, and some days I just want to get shit done, get it over with, and do ALL THE THINGS myself.

The cost of this way of being is no longer acceptable.

So I practice. Shifting from ruthless to compassionate and back to centre.

In the practice we find our way.

 

 

On Expectations (and the promise of 2015)

expectation (noun)

: 1530s, from Middle French expectation or directly from Latin “anticipation, an awaiting”

It’s a shame that having expectations is so often perceived as negative.

Imagine shifting to the original meaning, “anticipation and awaiting”.

It reminds me of when a woman is pregnant and expecting. There’s a certainty that at the end of nine months she will give birth.

What if you brought that same sense of expecting to your life?

What would you give birth to this year?

“Promise yourself… To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.” – Christian D. Larson

For me, 2015 is truly a year where many of the expectations I’ve had are coming to life.

The anticipation has been building and I hardly have words for what this feels like.

On the one hand it’s overwhelming because really, why do all the seeds I’ve planted the past year have to sprout ALL AT THE SAME TIME?

On the other hand, I am so freakin’ grateful I can hardly breathe.

This is what happens when you do the work. When you show up day after day, even and especially when you don’t feel like it.

The practice of showing up for your life in this way always makes a difference. It can’t not do so.

This work of growing and living a life you love isn’t easy, but it IS the catalyst for growth.

It is what fuels the imaginal cells to complete the transformation, making the pain of change worthwhile.

Maya Angelou said, “If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”

On that note, here’s what you can expect from me in 2015:

More Desire

: My passion for helping you reclaim your experience of freedom in life is fed by my work with values and core desired feelings. It has been a privilege to lead the Desire Map revolution with Danielle LaPorte and her amazing team.

The coming year is paved for more collaborations and in-person retreats beginning with two retreats in April in the UK. Desire and embodiment are at the heart of these workshops.

More Writing

: With almost twenty years of experience and active participation in the world of personal development, I’ve got a lot to share and the time has come. I’ll be revamping my blog, getting more clear on specific topics and how I can be of service to you.

I’ve also begun work on a book that will bring together what I’ve learned about creating sustainable, effective change. Spring 2015 is about publishing!

More Promise

: The ability to change effectively and sustainably over time is essential to the work of personal growth. If we don’t make this a priority we’ll keep spending time and money on books and programs that ultimately make no difference.

It’s that simple. And that essential.

The next 100 Day Promise begins January 1, 2016 with the theme Living Abundance.

Last but not least…

More Love

I love this work with my heart and soul. I love how it connects me to you.

It’s easy and habitual to succumb to our fears. This year let’s practice choosing love together.

 

Thank you for being here.

Sandi Amorim signature

 

Hello Desire Map, I Love You

 

At this time of year I start to look forward , and while I’m no fan of resolutions, I do love creating the future. This year, I’m feeling anticipation more than usual.

This feeling has a lot to do with the my journey the past couple of years, which has been an opportunity to embrace more of what I love and want in life.

And what’s leading me there with a new-found intensity is my deep dive into Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map.

Reading the Desire Map is a soulful endeavour that wreaks havoc (in a good way) on my psyche, and makes room for new thoughts and feelings to emerge.

red rose of desire, the Desire Map process

desire

: early 13th century Latin, desiderare – “long for, wish for,” original sense – “await what the stars will bring”

Await what the stars will bring…

So I willingly immersed myself in the desire mapping process which led to feeling good in all areas of my life.

Now I’m not new to the Desire Map having gone through the process last year, but this time I gave myself fully to the experience.

My motivation came from a longing to create this year in a new way, but also to deepen my own relationship to desire.

I’ve had plenty of experience wanting something and not getting it, and wondered how desire could transform that sense of striving. I also committed to leading two Desire Map groups, and public declaration is a powerful motivator.

I settled in to explore my desires, and what showed up were these core desired feelings:

Cherished
Free
Delight
Spacious
Wonder

While doing the work my guy came home, and after a short while, he asked what I was doing. I casually responded, “Getting clear how I want to feel this year.”

Silence, and then…“Can I do it too?”

We sat side by side, me asking the questions out loud, both of us writing in notebooks. No idle chat, just silence and the sound of pen on paper, accompanied by the warm light of the fire.

What happened next surprised me, and was a direct hit of delight.

When I asked him to share one of his feelings ‘joyfully connected’ came out of his mouth, along with a simple statement that it’s how he wants to feel in relationships, and specifically with me in our marriage.

Hello Desire Map, I love you.

This process works.

It guides you past the same old stuff that comes up every January and takes you deep into what’s important.

For me it was,

Feeling joyfully connected vs. “let’s set up another date night”

Feeling cherished and delighted vs. driven by my goals

When you allow your feelings to guide you,

“…you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be.”  – Danielle LaPorte