What are you teaching the world?

 

what are you teaching the world

What am I teaching the world?

This morning’s Truthbomb caught me off guard.

I love what I do, and the amazing people I get to work with, but what exactly am I teaching the world?

I look back at all the courses and programs I’ve offered over twenty years, but that doesn’t fully address the essence of my work and why I do it. If I close my eyes and remember the thousands of conversations I’ve had since I first began coaching, the answer becomes clear.

I am always about freedom, expansion, and growth.

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” 

I resisted this truth in my twenties, let it in (a bit) in my thirties, and accepted it in my forties; all the while, knowing in my soul that accepting it would lead to freedom.

Acceptance finally led to embodying the truth which has made the greatest difference.

Embodying the truth that I am responsible for my experience of freedom, and that in choosing my path and my response to whatever life offers, I can feel free regardless of the circumstances.

I don’t mean freedom in a do-whatever-you-want kind of way, although I love that too.

I mean freedom to create and live my life in a way that feels good, and right, and perfect for me.

This has been the thread in every course, every offer, and every coaching conversation I’ve ever had.

I am here to help you expand love and freedom in any area of your life where you currently experience struggle and constraints.

Today’s cards said much the same.

Feeling free, devotion, one step (one choice) at a time, expansion and growth.

What am I teaching the world?

I teach that freedom is always possible.

I teach that love and freedom go together.

I teach that devotion and practice are the keys.

I teach that expansion and growth are inevitable.

“We do not ask life what the meaning of life is. Life asks us, what is the meaning of your life. And life demands our answer.” – Viktor Frankl

 

Today’s message:

Truthbomb: What are you teaching the world?
Tarot: Ace of Wands, a new beginning of energy and intiative
Ascended Masters: King Solomon, Priorities, devotion to what’s important
Gods & Goddesses: Bhumi, Mother Earth, expansion and growth
Core Desired Feelings: Spacious + Free

 

Freedom Always Follows Truth

Freedom always follows truth

Today, like most days, I pulled two cards to start my day.

My go-to deck of Truthbombs reminded me of something I’ve forgotten in the busyness of the past few months.

Freedom always follows truth.

And then, because it seemed I needed a second reminder, truth-telling came up in an interview, and I heard myself say how vital it is to my life and work.

Dear Universe, I got the message, loud and clear.

In that moment, I realized it was time to come clean, to tell the truth about what I want – now, at this moment in my life.

Not last year, not even six months ago. Now.

What I want might take a little ruthless compassion focused on the woman in the mirror. And it might take making changes to my schedule, stretching me out of my comfort zone yet again.

That’s the truth that’s been niggling at me, and also what I’ve avoided.

Because really, do I have to keep growing and expanding myself?

Yes, I do. I am clear that’s part of my work in this lifetime.

How do I know this is true? Because I suffer when I stop growing. I suffer when things become stagnant, routine, and draining.

And more importantly, I thrive when I’m challenged to grow.

It’s not that difficult to tell the truth.

Telling the truth feels so damn good. Have you noticed?

It’s the feeling of sweet relief; a kind of grace that washes over me, a balm to my soul.

If it feels so good, why don’t we do it more often?

Because no one wants to look bad.

“Hey there, let me tell you how I lied to myself and got through it.” – Said no one ever.

Sometimes, lying looks like not telling the whole truth, and then we rationalize it away because it’s not like we actually lied.

Except we did.

To ourselves, and holy fuck, there’s a wake-up call.

Wake up to the truth.

In that interview I spoke of forgiveness, and how it relates to self-compassion. It’s easy to get caught up in self-recrimination when we slip from our commitments, and veer away from the truth.

But what if instead we simply acknowledge what’s there?

No judgement, all love.

The truth is I want writing to be where I turn to work things out and create; not a sometime event linked to a looming deadline.

The truth is I want my business to reach more people; and I want that more than I want to believe the old stories about how it’s not possible.

And the truth is I love the busyness that sometimes gets in the way.

I love having my time and energy focused on projects and goals that will, in some way, change the world.

But that truth felt too big, too audacious, too fucking huge for me to admit.

The truth is I want all of this, and more.

 

And suddenly… sweet relief, and freedom.

No judgement, all love.

 

We Must Move Into Love

“To transcend fear we must move somewhere else emotionally; we must move into love.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

We must move into love, and in doing so we make it an active choice rather than an intellectual one.

We’ve heard the call to choose love over fear.

Has it worked for you? Because I’ll admit I’m starting to get that choosing isn’t enough.

And so I did, mostly because I pride myself on walking my talk, but also because I reached out and asked for help.

Some time ago, I began thinking about shooting video, but every time I thought of it my entire being clenched, gripped by the fear of putting myself out there in a new way.

It felt dangerous and vulnerable.

I let myself feel the fear, and I even began to question it, examining it from various angles.

One day I found myself reaching out and asking a friend for support. He was brilliant in that he didn’t just give me advice on how to make videos.  He showed up on my doorstep with his equipment and proceeded to record our conversation for two hours.

Two hours of facing my fear, and moving into love.

Two hours of talking about love and fear and freedom, and other topics I’m passionate about.

At some point I realized I’d almost forgotten about the cameras I was so into our conversation.

I realized that love and fear can’t coexist.

We can never feel them at the same time. It’s impossible.

I realized that choosing love is only the first step.

Moving into love must follow, an ongoing practice that breathes life into us when we most need it.

In saying yes to doing the video, I chose love over fear.

In sharing it here with you, I move into love once again.

Because to keep this to myself goes against how I want to live my life.

I want you to get, just like I did, that I’m OK exactly the way I am.

If I want to help others reclaim their freedom, I have to make the move into love, over and over and over again.

It’s not a one-time thing.

And I am reminded of Marianne Williamson’s prayer,

Dear God,

Help me today to choose love over fear, that I might work miracles for myself and others. Where I am tempted to attack or defend, please guide my mind to a gentler place.

Amen.  

Choose love, and have it be that simple.

Crush your fear.

Become fearless.

An inspiring rallying cry in the personal development world.

Or is it?

Does it really motivate you to hear “be fearless,” when time after time your dreams and desires are shut down by fear? Or does the call to fearlessness leave you in doubt that you could ever be that bold?

Just because we hear something a lot doesn’t make it right or true, or even helpful. That it is believed and widespread doesn’t make it useful or effective in the reality of day-to-day living.

Because the truth I’ve learned is that becoming fearless isn’t the point; nor is mastering your fear.

That’s just ego talking, doing it’s best to stop you.

Fear has its uses – survival for one – and it keeps us from doing stupid things, but the thing we don’t often hear is that fear can even lead you to a positive outcome.

What if leaning into your fear is what sets you free? 

Hard to believe? Challenging your beliefs? Stay with me.

When I launched my business almost 15 years ago, I was afraid.

When I got married after heartbreak in my first relationship, I was terrified.

When I learned how to scuba dive, I was so scared I could hardly breathe.

When I faced a video camera for the first time? Heart-racing, deer-in-headlights fear.

I was wracked with fear every single time.

I certainly didn’t ‘crush it’ or eliminate fear from my life. Instead, I tested it, leaning in to see where it would lead me.

That video recording I mentioned?

Yeah, that happened recently, and I can still hardly believe I did it.

For some time, I’ve thought of doing video, every time coming to the conclusion that it wasn’t for me.

I’m not a video person.
I don’t feel comfortable in front of a camera.
I don’t want to do what everyone else is doing.

A few my logical reasons for saying no.

Then I asked myself what was choosing to say no – love or fear?

Fear – deep and dark – a fear of being seen in a new way. Exposed. Vulnerable. I wanted to run and hide, get away from my discomfort.

So I did the opposite, leaning into it as far as I could. And the most amazing thing happened.

Love showed up and said yes.

Choose Love: photo credit - Sandi Amorim

Love for my work, and connecting to people.

Love for the friend who offered to record my first video, and help me face my fear.

Love for myself, and my desire to keep growing and stretching beyond what I think is possible.

I chose love, and it said yes.

Two hours flew by while we talked about life, and vulnerability, and why the general advice to be fearless is fucked. I talked about how scared I was to do this with him.

Two hours of recording that showed me that being afraid and being filmed (or being afraid while being filmed) was something I could lean into rather than avoid.

Instead of crushing fear, I chose love.

Can it be that simple?

Yes.

Simple, and not always easy, but I’m willing to practice.

Choose love, and have it be that simple.

 

p.s. Video to come, so stay tuned.

 

What are we all so afraid of?

 

When you begin to walk the path from fear to freedom, you’ll notice a shift in energy.

It’s empowering to explore, like an archaeologist digging for answers from the past.

Because really..

What are we all so afraid of?

photo of figure against turbulent black and white sky by Hartwig HKD

Krishnamurti said, “Fear of any kind breeds illusion.” 

This illusion stops us in life, for where we are afraid we are not free.

This illusion keeps us from being with our fears in a way that contributes to our growth and development.

Instead, we try desperately to crush fear, escape it, and worst of all, suppress it – but none of these lead to freedom.

What can you do instead?

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The Delicious Ambiguity of Endings (and how they lead to freedom)

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” – Gilda Radner

Kits Beach sunset, Vancouver, BC: photo credit - Mark Faviell

We want so much to know what’s going to happen, as if knowing will make the endings less difficult, less painful.

It doesn’t.

Whether it’s the death of a loved one, a business, or a relationship, knowing the end is near makes very little difference.

Emotions will come up (they are relentless, in case you hadn’t noticed), often slowing down the healing process if we don’t give ourselves permission to feel and integrate them fully.

Therein lies the greater challenge of endings.

It’s also where ambiguity lives.

am·bi·gu·i·ty

:: doubtfulness or uncertainty of meaning or intention

We wrongly believe that feeling emotions (especially ones perceived as negative) leads to deeper pain, and we’ll do anything to avoid them.

Move on. Be positive. Count your blessings.

The platitudes we speak to avoid feeling the depth of our emotional world.

We do anything to avoid going deep, blind to the fact that the opposite is the path to freedom.

It’s said resistance is futile, and when it comes to emotions that’s true.

What you resist will persist somewhere in your mind, body, spirit.

Problems and circumstances come and go in life, but your unexpressed feelings become trapped as emotional charge, or negative energy.

It’s not a conscious action, but rather a protective instinct that does more harm than good.

In avoiding what’s perceived as negative or ending, you keep yourself stuck there, paralyzed by the unknown.

The truth I’ve discovered as I do more and more work with people in the Freedom Sessions is that acknowledging and feeling your emotions fully is what gets you through the pain and struggle with greater ease.

It’s counter-intuitive, I know.

Here’s how it works:

That emotional charge is made up of four elements:

  • Images – pictures you see in your mind
  • Thoughts – internal dialogue, negative chatter, the broken record of self-recrimination
  • Feelings – emotions we try to suppress that return over and over
  • Body sensations – physical ailments or conditions that show up as a response to the suppression

What’s the impact of all that stuck energy?

What’s the cost to your vitality and well-being in life? 

For most of us it’s huge.

I recently shared my personal experience of this cost and how I found my way back to freedom.

So what to do with all these stuck and suppressed emotions?

Of course I invite you to work through the Freedom Sessions with me; until then, here are a few tips to help you begin the process on your own.

How to Clear Your Stuck Energy

1. Start with Your Body

Take a moment and notice where the stuckness shows up in your body. As soon as you tune out the external distractions and focus on your body, you will feel where it lives in most strongly within. Let yourself feel it.

2. Acknowledge Its Presence

The emotional charge you feel in your body is there for a reason. Put all your attention on it; be with it without judgement. It’s been suppressed and ignored for so long, take a moment to acknowledge its presence.

3. Magnify It

Sounds a bit crazy, but imagine feeling the pain of the emotion and then exaggerating it. Imagine you could zoom in to the very core of its existence, and then be with the initial discomfort.

THIS is the gateway to relief, and freedom.

This works so well because we go right to the root of the negative energy, that emotional charge that’s been stuck for so long, and you bypass the overactive mind that’s done its best to protect you. This results in dissolving the energetic residue in the body.

It’s not rocket science, and it’s not magic – there be no unicorns here.

It is however, simple and profound.

The good news is it’s by far the most effective work I’ve done with clients in over a decade, helping people move from stuck to free and empowered.

The bad news is you have to acknowledge you now have a choice, and you’re not a victim of circumstance. For some, that’s the biggest hurdle.

“I loved the session where I figured out why I’m here and all the false crap that triggers maladaptive or reactive behavior.  It’s probably the most important chunk of information I’ve ever learned about myself because I understand myself so much better instead of simply labeling myself as wrong or bad. So much support in an atmosphere of non-judgement.” – Ellen Berg

More good news – you don’t have to do this alone.

Contact me directly if you want to explore if this is right for you.

Over to You:

Over to You:

Which of the steps feels the most challenging to you?

8 Truths to Getting Unstuck and Reclaiming Your Freedom

 

Then.

On the eve of her 49th birthday, she lay in bed wondering what had happened to her drive and enthusiasm for life. The tears kept her awake, as did the heightened awareness that she wasn’t happy, her experience of life one of feeling trapped.

Suffering doesn't make us weak;  only an avoidance of suffering makes us weak.  Sometimes the only way to get around it  is to burn through it. - Marianne Williamson

She lay awake for hours shocked by this realization.

Some time in the middle of the night, she whispered to herself that she would do whatever it took to feel better; to cause a breakthrough for herself. She was so very good at doing it for others, and it was time to turn that attention and care to her Self.

This was hard for her to admit, given that her work was all about helping people enjoy a greater experience of life. She’d been using all the techniques and tools she’d learned over the years, but nothing had made a lasting difference.

That was me, April 14, 2012.

I had entered my own personal hell.

A year passed, and I turned 50.

365 days had gone by since that dark night of the soul, and while I’d made some changes, things were still looking pretty bleak. So much so that I was actually considering therapy and/or drugs to help me get through this phase, which seemed to have become my life.

That’s when I asked myself one very important question:

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get through?

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Telling the Truth About Love and Freedom

 

“Freedom and love go together.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

Yes, they do, and this belief has caused a shift recently. . .

a seismic shift away from traditional coaching towards a more freedom-oriented way of working that focuses on harmony and integration rather than goals, productivity, and the usual suspects of the coaching world. That doesn’t mean you won’t get those results, but that you’ll get them with more ease and alignment with your values than you’ve ever experienced before.

And since I’m telling the truth here, this shift feels more like 6.3 on the Richter scale in the magnitude it’s had on my life and business.

Because as I’ve been mastering this new way of working with you, I’ve been going through it myself and the word that comes to mind is transformative; like those imaginal cells that have been at work for so long have finally completed their role.

What does that mean?

It means I really don’t give a crap about:

  • fine-tuning my niche
  • developing SEO practices
  • following traditional coaching guidelines
  • and other sundry tips from the experts on how to succeed online!

It means I’m trusting my gut and my soul’s whispers.

It means you get more of the depth and breadth of fifteen years of my own personal development and coaching journey.

“In the Freedom Sessions, Sandi brings knowledge, humor and genuine compassion to the process.  Everything is done in relationship, in an atmosphere of non-judgement.” – Ellen Berg

It means my deepest yearning is to cherish life in such a way that it exposes its tender heart.

It means I’m in service to that desire by focusing on love and freedom in every interaction.

It means my primary interest – and yes, I do have an agenda – is to help you expand into love and freedom in any area of your life where you currently experience struggle and constraints.

Love & Freedom collage by Sandi Amorim

This my friends, might be bad for SEO, but it’s right in every other way.

Especially in my heart.

Especially in my heart.

The Many Flavours of Freedom

 

free·dom

– being able to think, choose, and act without constraint, or my simplified definition – the ability to do what you want when you want.

definition of freedom superimposed on ice cream cones

The focus of my work has shifted slowly, but surely towards freedom; no surprise really, as it’s one of my core values. I’ve found myself wanting to go deeper, into what freedom means to others.

I asked online and here’s what came back:

Freedom is. . .

  • the release of shoulds
  • being free to be yourself at every moment
  • giving yourself in service to others
  • feeling unconstrained
  • being able to choose how to spend my precious time
  • being able to still the turmoil in my mind

  • the ability to be myself in all ways, everywhere
  • knowing I am thinking my own thoughts, and not those of others
  • being able to speak my mind and do what I want, regardless of what anyone else thinks

  • doing only things I love and choose
  • having options, choices, and the opportunity to exercise one’s own will

Then there’s the more complicated, dictionary view:

Freedomnoun

1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
3. the power to determine action without restraint.
4. political or national independence.
5. personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery: a slave who bought his freedom.

So what exactly is it?

I asked some respected friends and colleagues this question:

What does freedom mean to you, and how do you nourish it in your life? 

Their words, and collective wisdom inspired me; so many flavours of freedom, each appealing in its own way and I realized the problem with freedom is that sometimes we take on someone else’s concept of freedom as our own.

Like letting someone who doesn’t know you pick a flavour of ice cream at random, you’re not likely to get what you want.

It’s why you might have the experience of constraint even when circumstances line up to produce the freedom you thought you were working towards.

So many options, grab a pink spoon and dip into the flavours below.

 

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