Dear Love

Dear Love, image of magnolia, photo credit: Sandi Amorim

Dear Love,

I’m happiest when you show up unexpectedly, on a day like today, when I felt I had no love left to give. My resistance was high, which is silly, I know… but that’s the truth, love.

I resist to avoid rejection and hurt. It’s easier to build a wall and close myself off to you, until I remember that safety has never been my thing… not really.

It’s irrational, this need to armour up; a kind of temporary insanity that is just too great a burden.

Then somehow, on a day like today, you sneak in through a crack in the wall, surprise me with the depth and magic of your presence, and once again I surrender.

xo

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Every April, I celebrate my birth month
Every April, I celebrate my birth month
by taking part in Susannah Conway’s April Love.

 

 

Let’s Talk About Love

 

Blinded, statue at Fraserview Cemetery, Vancouver, BC

It’s easy to love the sun.

It rises each day and generously shares its light and warmth. It literally brightens our days, wanting nothing in return.

So easy to love.

It’s less easy to love another.

For they are not nearly as reliable or generous as the sun. They come with feelings and expectations and needs. Often demanding, it’s a wonder we love them, but we do.

We do so love to love.

It’s not that easy to love yourself. 

This is the greatest of loves, for it informs the rest, and yet…it’s often the love we’re most challenged by.

Imagine this love.

This great love that has been with you since the beginning. Maybe it was suppressed long ago, tucked way back in the recesses of your heart.

“To say “I love you” one must know first how to say the “I”.” – Ayn Rand

But this love is still there, longing to be expressed.

I know this is true.

You are here longing to hear the whispers of your heart, yearning to feel the “I”.

So, let’s talk about love, and create the foundation of a new reality.

 

Loving You Up from the Future

 

“I’m a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.” – Mother Teresa

Dearest,

Your recent transformation has been amazing to witness.

Your imaginal cells have outdone themselves, my love.

Orchids against blue sky

But then, you continue to surprise me, flourishing in the face of many challenges.

The Universe has reciprocated and the return has been beyond your expectations.

Kudos for trusting your inner wisdom.

Do you have any idea how inspiring you are?

You walk your talk to honour your integrity, but also so that others can learn from your path.

Rivendell labyrinth, Bowen Island

That is a gift you share generously, and it has a profound impact on those around you.

It’s time to celebrate the awesomeness that you are.

Lovin’ you up from the future,

xo

Sandi Amorim signature

 

A Letter from the Future

 

Dear One,

Watching you the past few months brings up tears of happiness and pride.

And I am proud of you, for it would have been much easier to quit.

outdoor market area, Santa Fe, New Mexico

You, however, are not a quitter.

You persist.

“Persistence guarantees that results are inevitable.” – Paramahansa Yogananda

You commit with your whole heart and then do what it takes to follow through.

Just one of the many things I love about you.

Your passion and persistence are like arrows to my heart.

The way you weave your feelings into words. . .well, just slay me now.

I’m crushing on you.

Lovin’ you up, all the way from the future.

xo

Sandi Amorim signature

 

 

A Love Affair with Yourself

 

Imagine a love affair with yourself…

“Suddenly, and for the first time, she was at the center of her own life, living it and loving it.” – Mary Balogh

You, at the centre,
a full-blown love affair with yourself.

That luscious, heady feeling…all for you.

Murmured words of love,
a tender gaze…just for you.

Imagine…

“If we listened to our intellect we’d never have a love affair.” – Ray Bradbury

For now, give your intellect a rest.

Listen only to your heart,
let it bask in your fullest attention.

Leo Mol Sculpture Garden, Winnipeg, Manitoba

Your soul yearns
to be acknowledged,

a willing lover
whispering,
waiting for your embrace.

Wrap your arms around it.
And hold on for dear life.

Fire burns in your belly.

Your most desired feelings,
like lava, burning to flow freely.

Unleash their fullest expression.

Goddess sculpture, head back, arms up and open

Look back and remember.
There have been times you knew this love.

See it, hear it, feel it,
in that deepest part of you. . .
no one ever sees.

“Love affairs, in their beginnings, are all about the present.” – Kate Morton

The present, a most precious gift.

Breathe it in like a lover’s scent.
Not yesterday, not tomorrow,

only now.

And take heart

“Courage Is a Love Affair with the Unknown” – Osho

Trust that you are up to the task.

 

You Are Beyond Compare

 

Hand holding heart shaped rock

Dear One,

As the new year begins, it seems you need a reminder of how truly awesome you are.

Maybe you got caught up in the new year’s hype, and fell prey to comparisonitis.

But you (and you’ve really got to get this) are beyond comparison.

Your heart and courage inspire, and not a day goes by that someone isn’t touched by you.

Listen. . .

and hear the truth of these words.

You are beyond compare.

You care about people, and share yourself generously, and when you love you do so wholeheartedly. It is  truly a masterful part of your being.

And people respond.

Yes, they always do and tell you so often. So much love coming to you every day, and sometimes you don’t notice it at all.

I’m writing these words to remind you.

You are awesome and you are loved.

xo

Sandi Amorim signature

 

No One Does It Alone


Buddha in profile, monks walking away

No one does it alone.

It’s easy to forget that.

Maybe your past has turned into a story about why:

But everyone needs help sometimes. Especially those of us who think we can go it alone.

It’s tough to talk about; God knows I don’t like admitting it.

But here’s the truth I know today. . .

No one can or should do it alone, and even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.

We’ve all got stories, plenty of them, but those stories suck the joy out of life and lead to a dark and scary neighbourhood where your lizard brain thrives.

It’s easy to hang onto the stories and forget that you have amazing people in your life. Call me Pollyanna but I am certain that you do.

People who light you up with their joy, show you the way when you feel lost and love you no matter what.

This is a love note to them.

 

Dear One,

Who you are is a recent gift, for which I am grateful.

Who you are gives me comfort, and like Linus with his blanket I feel safe.

Who you are is a beacon, lighting my path when I think I’m at the end.

Who you are is love in human form; remembering your hug makes me smile.

Who you are for me reminds me of who I am for others.

Some days I have to dig deep to remember you are there, nestled safe and snug in my heart.

Some days I try to avoid who you are, for your light reflects mine. . .and I can hardly be with that.

And when you, yourself, forget who you are, come to me and I will tell you. Search my heart and you will find. . .you.

You remind me that I don’t have to go it alone.

And with my whole heart I thank you.

xoS

 

 

Because Deathbed Regrets Suck

 

Dear One,

I couldn’t sleep last night.

Someone I know died last week, a friend of the family. I didn’t know her all that well, but every time I saw her, every interaction I had with her left me feeling appreciated and acknowledged.

She was so very present, her face lighting up when she saw you. She smiled big, from deep within and seemed to squeeze the joy out of life.

I don’t even know what she accomplished in life. It’s how she lived and how she left people feeling that was extraordinary.

I thought of her last night, her death yet another wake up call.

It got me thinking about life, and how you stop yourself from really living.

I know you know what I’m talking about.

Surviving is not the same as living.

It’s actually quite easy to survive, to live with all the things you’re tolerating and all the ways you’ve suppressed yourself.

But your dreams and desires for this life?

Where do they exist amidst the toleration and survival?

Maybe you talk about them a lot, but because you rarely take action you sound like the boy who cried wolf.

Maybe you write about them…at night, in your journal, when no one’s looking.

You keep them safe and locked away.

And love. Sweet, sweet soul-nourishing love.

What about it? Do you share your love, expressing it freely?

Or do you save it for the ‘appropriate’ time.

What are you waiting for?

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The Letter Love Wrote

Dear Beloved,

Dear Beloved,

Lately? I haven’t been very good at expressing my love for you. There’s been a lot of make wrong, and judging and assessing going on and it hasn’t been pretty.

I’ve been focused on work and getting things done, mostly noticing what you haven’t accomplished. I’ve thought and said things to you that I would never, ever say to another. I am so…sorry.

When I think of what you’ve been through the past year and a half, I almost swoon with pride. Really I do. I just don’t tell you enough.

I save that for others.

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