Zero Judgement, All Love

Zero Judgement

Shit happens. Unexpected upsets occur. People let you down.

React or respond.

Shut down or share your truth.

One truth is, you always have a choice.

Those moments of challenge life hands us are opportunities to grow. Even when they suck.

Some days the urge is strong to shut down, protect myself, and say, fuck it, I’ve had enough.

Those are the moments that shake me to the core, and remind me that I get to choose how I want to live my life.

No one else has a say, including people who love me.

I do not want to live a shut down life.

I will not trade my passion and self-expression for safety and security.

It is the cause of dis-ease, which I’m sure given enough time becomes disease of a more common kind.

I choose to live consciously, as awake and open as I can.

My choice to live the way I want requires no approval.

“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.” 

Emile Zola’s words resonate, squeeze my heart, and remind me of something I’ve known for a very long time.

I am here to live out loud.

Unapologetically, free to choose, moment by moment.

Today choose love.

Love the upset. Love the people. And most of all, love yourself more.

Zero judgement, all love.

Imagine the possibilities.


Rebel Requirements (the truth about what it takes)


Trust is the first requirement if you want to be a rebel.

You’ve got to trust yourself, even when it goes against the flow.

painting of fish

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently…”

You may be judged, but here’s the thing. . .

They’re already judging you for something or other, why not have it be for doing something you love, something you believe in?

Free from judgement and liberated from your fears, what would you be, do and have in your life? 

And I’m not talking about fighting against things, although that’s what we mostly think about a rebel. I’m talking about fighting FOR something; that thing that is important to you, and makes your heart sing.

That kind of fight takes heart and soul, and the courage of a true rebel spirit.


If you want to be a rebel…

Say what you want to say, and fuck the ‘right’ thing.

Trust your intuition, it’s more reliable than the masses.

“It’s pure instinct that makes me rebel every time someone tries to control my life and hand out more rules.” – Simone Elkeles

Put yourself first, for the good of all.

Wear your heart on your sleeve, and tell folks you love ’em.

Do what gives you pleasure.

Open up, share, be vulnerable. Let people in and they might surprise you by taking a stand right next to you.

Make the first move, tell the truth, be the last to let go of a hug.

Ask more questions. Question authority. Do it without apology.

“What you want can be yours. But you must first know what it is you want.” – Libby Bray

Own your desires, and ask for what you want.



Courage and Overcoming Fear with Debbie Ford


Years ago I read Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford, and I remember my surprise at realizing that someone was actually shining light on the parts of ourselves we try so hard to hide.

In her latest book Courage: Overcoming Fear and Igniting Self Confidence, she goes deeper right from the start as she asks,  Courage, book cover

“How many times have you felt yourself shrink?”

“How many times have you kept your mouth shut when you wanted to scream loudly, or handed over your power to someone who didn’t have your best interests at heart?”  

“How many times have you told yourself, ‘I can’t. I’m not strong enough. I”m not courageous or confident enough to be all that I desire to be?”

Because truth is, every day you’re confronted with situations that trigger thoughts like these, and the accompanying self-doubt.

Confronted too by opportunities and choices, hundreds of them, that can make you feel confident and strong or weak as a shrinking violet. Every one, a choice.

Are you owning that responsibility or living as a victim to it?

She writes that, “when we lack confidence, we feel unworthy of having what we want, of speaking the truth, of making decisions that improve our lives. When we feel weak, helpless, or powerless, we lack the strength to ward off the thoughts of defeat, negativity and fear that fill our minds and prevent us from moving forward and living in harmony with our deepest desires. ”

Courage provides steps to increasing confidence, and the possibility of living to our fullest potential.

“True courage comes not just from feeling confident and strong, but from being the honest, authentic expression of yourself.”

Debbie shares her personal journey with cancer, the wake-up call she needed to help her see where she herself had become stuck in life. Her raw honesty and vulnerability as she shares her story are rare traits, and make for a compelling read. Using the metaphor of a warrior, she digs deep to share the wisdom gained from confronting her own dark side while igniting the warrior long suppressed inside.

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Go With All Your Heart


Life can be challenging.

Fear and anxiety show up for a visit and the urge is strong

  • to give in
  • stop dreaming
  • settle

But listen. . .

You’ve got to keep going. You can’t give up.

Because you – of all the people I know – have a gift to offer.

A gift so remarkable, so uniquely you, it would break my heart if you stopped offering.

Every time you’ve been tempted to give up and take the easy road, you’ve followed your own light. Some days barely visible but enough to illuminate the path ahead of you.

That light can not be extinguished.

You may not know this about yourself, but you are a warrior of the light.

A torch-bearer, a fire starter, a beacon.

When you think you have nothing left to give, your greatness – radiance – shines through.

Some are blinded by it. Pay them no mind.

The world needs you to keep shining.

It’s why you’re here.



p.s. Wherever you go, go with all your heart.


Inspired by The Heart-Changing Letter Exercise.



Explanations Be Damned


“A warrior of light knows what he wants. And he has no need to waste time on explanations.” – Paulo Coelho

How much time do you spend explaining yourself to others?

20 minutes? An hour? More?

Imagine for a moment, striding out into the world and offering your gift boldly, without hesitation, without concern.

Imagine drawing a line in the sand, a demarcation that announced for all to hear,

“This is my work damn it, and I’m going to shine like nothing you’ve ever seen before!”

Right now, go on, say it.

Let. It. Out.

From deep within your belly. Let the world know what you’re up to. It’s waiting for you to take that step.

And once you do, life transforms.

It’s time.

  • To get out of your own way.
  • To stop withholding your gifts.
  • To stop suppressing your joy and passion.
  • To stop playing small when you were meant to shine like that brilliant star Sirius!

“Your work is to discover your work, and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~ Buddha

You know what you want.

It’s time to get real about it, because this is all you’ve got. . .

Reasons or results.

Fuck the explanations and choose.


Inspired by Paulo Coelho’s The Manual of the Warrior of Light, the warrior is a metaphor for those in pursuit of their dreams.



Breathe Deep, Step Back, Give Thanks


“A warrior of light knows that he has much to be grateful for.” – Paulo Coelho

A few days ago I was feeling a wee bit sorry for myself. You see, the past two weeks had brought death, sickness and a general feeling of malaise.


1. a condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort

2. a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy or discomfort

That’s a bit more than this warrior/deva is used to dealing with and life felt heavy.

It felt like all my energy was being sucked into a vortex of lethargy and I could barely focus.

It’d be easy to stay in this state for awhile. People are understanding and caring, life would go on while I stayed in my PJ’s a little while longer.


That is not how I want to live my life.

Why am I telling you this?

Here’s the thing we don’t often acknowledge: It takes something to pull yourself out of this kind of foggy, complacent, low-energy state.

It takes breathing deep and stepping back.

Pulling the blinders off and taking a good long look at life.

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The Warrior Emerges


“Every warrior of light has, at least once, believed that he was not a warrior of light.” – Paulo Coelho

You are a warrior of light.

You probably didn’t ask for it. You might even try to ignore and avoid it at all costs.

And still, the light keeps shining, mesmerizing you with its brilliance.

Sometimes, you stumble towards it, unable to help yourself.

You catch yourself and step back from what your whole being longs for.

Who are you to step into the light so boldly?

You are a warrior of light.

Maybe you struggle to understand, questioning this path, looking desperately for an easier way.

Like other light bearers, you suffer, beset by the endless swirl of doubts in your mind.

Who are you to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Who are you really, to think you could shine so brightly?

Maybe you withhold yourself, misguidedly thinking this will keep you safe, unaware that this is an important phase of the journey.

You are a warrior of light.

Dreaming of what’s possible, you make mistakes and learn.

You risk, and survive.


Your heart is beating. It has a gift to offer the world.

Not some day.


This piece was inspired by Paulo Coelho’s The Manual of the Warrior of Light and is the beginning of a series. The warrior is a metaphor for those in pursuit of their dreams.


If I Could Say Anything


We need to talk.

If we were dating, it’d be time to fess up (I’m on a roll, this is my second confession this week) and that scares me.

Since we started seeing each other four months ago (has it really only been 4 months?) I’ve been wanting to make a good impression, wanting to show you my best.


What I thought was my best was not.

Likable, nice, funny, smart – check.

My best? Not so much.

I’m saying this because I’ve had moments of:

  • biting my tongue
  • suppressing myself
  • ignoring my instincts
  • sweeping a thought under the rug

I have stopped myself in so many ways from saying what I wanted to say. But enough is enough; this can’t go on.

If I could say anything, I’d say what I wanted to say, straight up.

I’ve been afraid.

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